How Caitlyn Jenner Has Changed My Way Of Thinking

Like millions of others around the country, I just finished watching the ESPY's. Contrary to popular belief, I actually watch for the awards, not just to see if Kevin Love took a date. And, to be honest, like many others, I wasn't exactly thrilled with the choice of Caitlyn Jenner winning the Arthur Ashe Award For Courage. I just felt that there were other people who had been thru so much more than her and it really bothered me. I was wrong for thinking that. And, after watching her speech, I realize that I may never know the amount of courage it took for her to finally live her life freely.

But, I will have to say, what I've seen regarding the show and her winning is disturbing. There's nothing like a good Facebook feed scroll to really make you question humanity. I wonder... Do you really feel all of that hatred that you're saying? Do you have any idea what damage your words could really be doing? Do you care?

Anytime I see blatant hatred, I think of two things... my late great-grandmother and my daughter. I especially think of them immediately following something that has been hateful coming from my own mouth. I think about the most important thing my grandmother taught me and what I hope and pray that I leave with my daughter one day... love.

My great-grandmother was as religious as you can imagine. Every decision, direction and discipline that came from her, came from the Lord. Yes, the hunched-over, old lady with the ruffled around her ankles pantyhose, Bible-clutching women you're picturing right now is her. It brings tears to my eyes just writing this thinking of her old Bible with her weekly sermon notes written on the edges of the pages. Others in my family say she had a terrible singing voice, but all I can remember is her sweet voice singing me "Oh, How I Love Jesus" and many other traditional hymns. What does this have to do with Caitlyn Jenner? I never once knew of her to judge another person. I never once heard her speak a negative word about anyone. I never once saw her treat anyone else with anything but respect. Because, the greatest lesson I learned from the greatest Christian I've ever known was to Love One Another.  Not, love one another if you understand what they are going thru. Not love one another if they are the same as you. Just simply, love one another.

When you become a parent, I think that you try your best to instill everything good you see in the world into your children. I even try to make sure that my daughter doesn't carry the same bad habits that I do. Have you ever watched small children playing without any adult influence? It's really beautiful. Children don't see gender, socioeconomic status, race, disability or differences. Children see life and people the way it should be, in all its goodness. I do my best to make sure my daughter treats everyone equally. Why? Because we all are. Because no matter what differences we may have on the outside, we all deserve respect.

I don't know what it's like to look in the mirror and see someone totally different that I feel I am. I don't know what it's like to feel that I have been living a lie for the majority of my life.

But, I do know what it feels like tell myself I can make it thru the day.

I do know what it feels like to cry myself to sleep at night because I've been holding in so much pain and I can't hold it in anymore.

I do know what it feels like to start a prayer at night and the only words I can muster up to say are Dear God and yet somehow, still fall asleep peacefully.

And, I do know what it's like to hear someone say It's ok with a smile and have my entire day turned around.

Because I know how great it feels to have someone tell you that you'll be alright and that they are here for you.

Because I know what it's like to hurt, and I'm guessing you do, too.

Fear and lack of understanding are never an excuse for hate. Just because you don't accept what or how someone lives their life, doesn't mean you should look down on them.

It sure does take a lot of courage to be kind sometimes, doesn't it? Let's just keep it simple from now on...

Have respect and be kind. And, of course, love one another.