I was in New York City over the weekend and visited the Museum of Modern Art.  One of the exhibits featured one of the scariest dolls I have ever seen in my life.  I mean it!  Like scarier than freaking Annabelle.  Look at this thing!

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Is that not one of the most horrifying things you have ever seen??

Now, I have to tell you.  I am a huge fan of artist Adrian Piper and this conversation is in no way intended to minimize her work and point of view.  I am obsessed with her.  I think she offers one of the most important points of view in modern art and modern society.  I love, admire, crave the way she challenges the notions of race in the world.  Her work is full on in your face.  It's powerful, scathing, uncompromising.  It challenges, forces you to look inside yourself and examine your own perceptions of race and class.  I appreciate every aspect of her craft.  EXCEPT FOR THAT DOLL!!

What is that?  The Bride of Chucky????  Look at that thing.  It gives me the total creeps.  And the fact that it's essentially three-dimensional in this work nearly made me soil myself right in the middle of the museum.  I mean that is unadulterated ceramic terror.

And you think that's bad?  Look at this monstrosity that was left outside my house!!!!

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One night, I was watching TV when I got a random text message from my friend Adam McDuffee.  The message simply said, "Go look on your front porch."

I went outside and THIS was sitting in one of my porch chairs.

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He dropped that thing off at my house . . . in the dark.  Even our dogs were afraid of it.  Why wouldn't they be?  Who wouldn't be?  This thing looks like it's just waiting to hide under your bed and slice your Achilles heel with a knife as you walk by.

Yes, I think dolls are the devil.  Is anyone else afraid of dolls?  Anybody??  This video may change your mind.  Angel's daughter, Charlotte, is the proud owner of some dolls that I am pretty sure will kill you in your sleep.