The 5 Reasons Why I Don’t Date

The worst thing about being single is having to answer the question, "Why are YOU still single?" While I usually want to answer with a sarcastic Amy Schumer-inspired response, I typically just shrug it off with a laugh and a smile. But, here lately, I think I'm figuring out why I am single. Now, let me say that I have absolutely no bones about being single, it just seems to always be the topic of conversation when you are.  So, I made a list of reasons why I feel that I'm still single. Maybe some of my fellow third-wheelers can relate. 

1. I don't understand what dating has become.

My ex-husband and I started dating in 2005. Yes, the 2005 that is ten years ago. Do you know how different dating was 10 years ago?? Sure, we had cell phones and texting, but it wasn't anything like it is now. Social media (which we'll get to later) and texting has become the main means of communication for suitors. Guess what? I'm just not into that. Don't get me wrong, I love to text and I'm down for social media, but as the primary way you talk to the dude you're digging? Nah, I'll pass. Does anyone actually date anymore? Like go to dinner, hang out and have a real conversation kind of dating, because that's what I want. It seems to me that people don't want to date, they only want to hook-up. Which brings me to my next reason...

2. I'm not a hook-up kind of gal. 

Now, before y'all get all judgy and start posting pics from Spring Break 04, I am by no-means perfect. And, honestly, I would never want to be. But, it seems like to me that guys are only interested in hooking up. It's like... Hey! I know we've only know each other for a few hours, I totally forgot your name and I don't even like blondes, but, let's go get neked and roll around! Now, I'm all for fun, but let's get to know each other before articles of clothing start flying around the room. For instance, last Monday night in Nashville, I met a dude. A hot dude. Like, one of the hottest dudes I've ever talked to in real life. Like, so hot that while we were talking, I kept having to remind myself to be chill and not stare at him. Plus, he was naturally cool. And, a harmless smart aleck , which I love, funny and seemed smart. And beyond perfect hair. I touched it, it was awesome. Thinking about it, it's really unfair that he has all of those qualities. If I were a dude, I would totally hate him. Anyway, imagine my surprise when he basically invited me over to his place afterward. (Sidenote: I cannot believe I am telling y'all this and I'm already regretting it, but here we go, haha!) Did I go? No. Did I think about it? Dang right I did. Have I thought about it since? Yep.............. My bad, just hallucinated thinking about him again. Ok, ok... I'm back, ha! Here's the deal. Sure, maybe something can come from a one-night stand, I just feel like those are odds I'm not comfortable taking. Because, truth is, you'll maybe text for a day or two after, but it's only out of courtesy. If I'm going to meet a guy and never talk to him again, I'd rather not give up a piece of myself that I'll never get back. Plus, do you really want something that everyone else has had? I'll answer that for you... No, no you don't. And, I don't either.

(Just to clarify... I'm a to each his own kind of person, so however you live your life is up to you. No judgement from me.)

3. Social media and online temptations are too much.

Girls nowadays are shameless. Just ridiculously, embarrassingly shameless. I don't know when it became pseudo-cool to just throw what cha got around for everyone to see, but that's the world we live in on social media. I can't tell you how many pictures I see on Instagram of girls of themselves half-naked, sprawled out all over the place. (I wrote about this issue last year, if you missed it, click HERE to read it.) Why does this affect me and dating? Because, it scares me. Because being in a relationship is hard enough work, throw in constant temptation and it's dang-near impossible. Because private messages, boobs everywhere, public comments that would make my Mother blush... it's just too much. Now, it goes both ways, you guys are just as bad! I can't tell you how many times married or engaged men will send me messages, blatantly hitting on me. Listen dude, there's nothing less attractive than a taken man. Get outta here with that.

4. I don't throw it all out there.

This is just an extension of what I've said earlier. Even if I had Carrie Underwood's legs, I wouldn't wear clothing that barely covered my assets. You can dress sexy without baring it all, I think people forget that. And, with our hook-up society, guys expect you to either be a hoochie or a housewife. If I had a dollar for every time I've been told that I'm too wholesome or too innocent, I wouldn't be writing this article, because I'd be on a private beach somewhere, drinking an adult beverage not working. Back in the day, discretion was appreciated, even admired.Just because a lady doesn't show you her hand, doesn't mean she doesn't want to play.

5. I'm a Mom.

Ok, so what in the heck does that have to do with anything? Well, here's where that comes into play. Mainly, I don't have a lot of free time. I only have a few nights to myself and when I do, I'm not going to waste them hanging out with someone that I know I'm not really interested in. That may seem harsh, but really, it's just being fair to everyone. My Mom always says, "Well, Jaclyn, just go out with someone... Anyone!" Haha! Everytime, I tell her, "If I know I'm not interested in someone, I'd rather not waste my time or his money." The other factor in being a Mom is that some guys would just rather not get involved with someone with a child. Hey, I get it, I totally do. I think it's pretty easy to see that my child is my light. It's ok if you aren't ready for that, but we are a package deal. And a dang good one at that. But I will say, being a Mother has taught me more about life and about love that I learned in all my years before she came along. And, because of her, I think once I do date again, I'll be a much better partner because of it.

Now, don't let this list fool you, I definitely want to date and my eyes are open! I'm just having a hard time adjusting to 2015 dating. I know I can't be alone here. But, summer is supposed to be the perfect time to date, so who knows? Until then, I'll just keep thinking about that hot guy from last week. But, no one tell him that I am, it's way more fun to let him keep thinking of me as innocent. ;)