3 Reasons I’m Grateful for the Years I Was A Single Mom
Being a parent is hard but then add in being a single part and doing it alone. It's not an easy task but I'm grateful for the years I had alone with my boys.
LEARNING FROM THE VERY BEST
Some people are lucky enough to win the parent lottery and I was one of those. I was raised by my momma from the time I was 8 years old until I was an adult. She did it all from being mom, dad, and anyone else she needed to be for me. I've mentioned before she was a rockstar and she very much was. She worked 3 jobs to make ends meet and stayed constantly busy. This didn't mean she let me get by with anything. Have you ever watched those shows where the single parent that's so occupied with everything on their plate that their child gets away or gets themselves into too much? Not my mom. It was like she had radar and just knew before I even did it. She was strict and crazy and didn't care if I liked her. She would tell me "my job is to be your mother and if were friends later on in life that's a bonus." To be honest she was my very best friend and to this day there is a huge void.
She always took the time to teach me how to be a good parent. She would talk to me about life. It helped me to navigate my way when I became a mother myself.
3 REASONS I'M GRATEFUL FOR THE YEARS I WAS A SINGLE MOM
I don't think anyone has aspirations of being a single parent. I could be totally wrong and if you do more power to you! I just know for me that wasn't in the whole life plan. I wanted to get married have children and live happily ever after. I got two out of three with my first marriage and then I ended up a single momma. A single momma without my own momma to help me. She had passed away just a few years before.
There are so many things I was prepared for but looking back I think of all the lessons and experiences I am thankful for during that time.
AN OPPORTUNITY TO DEVELOP A CLOSER BOND
I know you can have a close bond with your kids if you're married but there is something so different about raising your children alone. You go through things together. You have a connection like none other. My boys and I grew up together and in a way, they raised me too. We learned from one another the right and wrong way to do it. It is hard to even put into words the bond but my two oldest boys are truly like my heart living outside my body. They went through the best and worst times of my life with me and I don't think I could have made it without them.
YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE THAT LESS IS MORE
We were dirt-dog poor when I was raising my boys. They had zero clue when they were little but now that they are a lot older they look back and realize it. We took total advantage of all the free community activities. We were always doing something but it was most likely free. They loved it. Just getting them out and about to enjoy the parks or the library, or teaching them about volunteering we mastered it all. We made so many memories just the three of us and we didn't spend a dime. We spent a ton of time together and to this day they still miss it.
THEY GOT MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION AS A MOTHER
I still worked a full-time job when they were little but I also made sure that my job and anything else in my life knew that whatever I had to do needed to account for my boys. My boys went to work with me on school breaks. Luckily I was blessed with a job that allowed this because I was a day camp director and they would go to camp while I was in my office. I could check on them throughout the day and have lunch with them and enjoy knowing they were close by. They went to community events I was in charge of. Everyone got used to them being a part of everything and helped me keep them in line. It takes a village and I had a great one that supported me.
My boys are now almost grown. Parker is 19, attending college and working full-time and Braden is a Junior in High School, working and playing football. They have two completely opposite personalities but turned out exactly as I would have expected them to.
This past weekend I was given a wonderful gift as a momma to experience. You know you always wonder if you're screwing up your kids or raising them right and in all transparency, I would have thought I messed my boys up totally.
They rescued their momma this weekend and it made me completely proud.
I posted about it on Facebook and had to share it;
After my divorce and I became a single mother I was sure I was screwing my boys up.
I had no one but them.I was strict.I was hard on them.I expected a lot.I also messed up.Had no idea what I was doing and we were navigating life together the three of us.We've had great times, hard times, and heartbreaking times.We fight like siblings at times.As a parent we always wonder if we've equipped our children for life and if we've raised them right.Today, Joe was preaching at church and he left early. My battery in my truck was dead for the second time this week when I went to leave for church. Joe couldn't get home Braden immediately came outside had me get in my truck and pushed it out to his car and jumped my truck. I called Parker and he immediately came to my aide picking my keys up at church and while I was in church he went and bought me a battery and put it in so I would have my truck after church.They didn't complain they just wanted to make sure I was taken care ofMy boysThey rescued me today.I'm not sure what I would have everdone without these two in this life.