The Garden Harvest That Nobody Wants
Labor Day has come and gone, School is back in session, and football season has started. It's fall in South Dakota, and you know what that means? It's time for break rooms across the state to be filled with garden overflow.
The bounty of the gardens that people have tended all summer is ready for harvest. That means we are now into "Hey, throw these vegetables away at your house, please" season.
Fall Garden Overflow in South Dakota
OK, maybe that's an exaggeration. I'll happily take all the tomatoes you want to give me. Bring in all the boxes of peppers that you feel bad letting rot on the vine. I'm ready to make some September Salsa.
But, please...please!...leave the zucchini at home.
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Why Zucchini Tops the ‘Unwanted’ List
Yes, the fall garden harvest brings us lots of delightful produce. But, this is also the time of year when it seems like every person at work is trying to push bags and boxes of gross zucchinis on you.
What even is a zucchini? They are the junebug of produce: big, gross, and serving no purpose except to gross me out.
Apparently, zucchini is a type of squash. So named because all they are good for is squashing. I know, I know, people allegedly eat zucchini and other squash. That's what we are told, anyway. I've never seen it happen.
Sure, we are told that one can slice and fry zucchini or make it into bread. Or you can even...um...I don't know, make it into juice, I guess?
I've never seen zucchini on a restaurant menu. Never had it at a potluck. I don't think I've ever witnessed anyone come rushing into work to tell everyone about the amazing zucchini dish they had last night.
You can't even carve them into Jack-o-Lanterns.
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Zucchini belongs in the category of food that is only for extreme emergencies. Like dandelions, mushrooms, or tree bark, if you're eating them, something stinky has hit the fan.
So, this is a long way to say, please don't try to send me home with any zucchini. I'm too Midwest polite to refuse your offer, so I will take the tote of squishy squash and let the zucchini rot in my fridge. Let's skip that step and leave the zucchini for the raccoons and bugs.