Five Things The Little Mermaid Live Really REALLY (really) Needed
Last Tuesday, ABC ran a live version of Disney's The Little Mermaid. It was a cool concept - the original animated movie was cast on a screen and transitioned into songs done by live vocalists and dancers.
There were a lot of people who enjoyed the production but in my opinion (and in the opinion of lots of other people) it was kind of a hot mess. Even my friend Liberty, who is like the biggest Disney nerd/freak/super fan I have ever met, didn't care for it. Let's just say, there were a few issues. But, with the help our our friend Amazon Prime, these could have been remedied quite easily.
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Okay was Shaggy supposed to be Sebastian the crab or Michael Jackson? Like, everyone has has stupid fins and seaweed coming out of their hair and he's up there in a shiny red leather suit looking nothing like a crab. I'm pretty sure Shaggy said, "I'm the closest thing you are going to find and I'm not wearing a crab suit. Deal." The crab hat could have easily fixed everything that was wrong with his outfit.
Know what was really annoying? The crowd clapping the ENTIRE FREAKING TIME. If they had a couple of these handy dry erase boards, they could have told them to shut it and hold applause til the end so the rest of America could actually hear Queen Latifah being a bad a$$ Ursula.
When John Stamos told the crowd that he should have been "Prince Albert" we were all like what just happened? Then, turned away and said something like, "or Prince Eric." I mean, what? This has since been edited out of the production (shocker). I'll bet if he had to put this horrible puzzle together featuring the real Prince Albert among other world leaders, he would get it right.
Ya, the Flounder puppet wasn't even the Aldi version. It was like the Family Dollar version. Amazon has better stuff than that.
Where was King Triton IRL? Not on that Disney stage, I'll tell ya that. I vote a Jason Momoa as tribute. His Aquaman 1/6 scale figure would have worked fine.