Angel here and today marks 12 whole long and grueling years that my momma left this earth to go to her heavenly resting place.  I remember growing up I couldn't wait to be an adult so I could do things on my own.  Turns out the jokes on me and most days I wish there was a direct line to heaven so I could hear her voice and ask her advice.

My momma and I were always close.  She was all I had growing up.  We moved a lot but she always made me feel secure.

She took advantage of teachable moments.  In fact, she was the queen of it.  For example, when I was four my parents separated and momma wasn't working.  She had to get a job and literally took me with her to look because she wasn't going to let me go hungry.  She went to the Henderson Animal Clinic and they had a sign In the window that said "GROOM WANTED" momma walked in and when they asked how long she had been grooming she said "My whole life".

I know it sounds like she lied but really she wasn't we raised horses and she had taken care of them.  She knew she needed that job and when she passed away she owned her own grooming business with tons of faithful clients.

She taught me about determination and never giving up on what you want.  When I struggled she would look me in the eye and say "My darling sweetheart, you can do absolutely anything you put your mind too, just go for it and you'll figure it out."

If I had a problem I could call her up and we would talk, laugh, cry, and pray.  If I went to visit in person I would crawl up in her lap and sit like a little girl (yes even at 28 years old I did) and I am not ashamed.  Sometimes the problem would still be there but I always felt relieved.  I think I just felt calm knowing momma was there as a safety net for me always.  Not necessarily to get me out of trouble but to give me the sound advice or talk me through something and be my sounding board.

I remember when I started working for Owensboro Parks & Recreation she would call like three or four times a day just to tell me something and talk like I wasn't working.  I would do anything for her to be able to call into the show and talk with us.  I think she would probably be one of our morning show regulars.  Her laugh oh her laugh and her hilarious humor, two of my favorite things about her.

Thinking back on the first time I wanted to call my mom after she passed it was a day I went home sick from work.  I was already married with three children and I was driving home and picked up my cell phone to dial her number.  It hit me she wasn't going to be picking up the other end and I burst into tears.  A feeling that as I type swells back up inside as if I was back there again.

So many times over the past 12 years I have wanted to share news with her, cry or laugh with her and for a split second I forget that she is gone only to be brought back to reality with devastating disappointment.

I share all this because I know several people who don't talk to family, specifically their parents for a number of reasons.  I am by no means a counselor but if you still have your parents and are able to pick of the phone and call them please do it more often.  Even if it is just to say hello.

I'd give anything in the world for just one more call.  One more hug.  One more anything really.  I pray if you have an estranged relationship it can be healed and if you are reading this and have lost your parent(s) you might find comfort that you are not alone.

Now I nurture the time I have with my kids and when my Parker calls me out of the blue I cherish it more than ever.  I want to be the security net for my kids just like momma was for me.

I just can't help but wish I could phone heaven today.


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Remembering Lost Loved Ones


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