I have two questions for two separate audiences here. Have you ever seen the Steven Spielberg-directed TV movie Duel? OR, have you ever seen the film Joy Ride?

I ask two questions because there's a 27-year separation between the former's 1974 broadcast and the latter's 2001 release, but their storylines are very similar. Both are also very good, although I'd give the edge to Duel.

Both are about motorists who are terrorized by unseen assailants in great big semis as they travel cross-country. Both are wildly intense and packed with thrills.

On a couple of recent occasions, on my way home from work, I have gotten in front of a truck--could be more than one; could be the SAME one--that proudly beams its xenon or LED headlights for all to see. And if ALL were on the moon, they could still see them. My point being, they were close enough that I just couldn't see anything because of the intense reflection from my mirrors.

So, yeah, sometimes I feel like those drivers in those movies being tailed by an assailant. Except it's just someone who either doesn't realize their headlights are that bright or they don't care. I hope it's the former.

Look, I like driving. And when I find myself somewhere where street lamps are scarce, I turn on my brights. But those kinds of headlights make MY brights look like a pin light with a failing battery.

If you do have those headlights, and you are unable to pass me, please back off and quit trying to use them to see inside my chest cavity.

Trust me, there are plenty of x-ray machines in this town.

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