Several years ago, I was at Ellis Park for a live broadcast for the purpose of covering the camel and ostrich races.

If you've never seen this event, it is well worth your time. It is HILARIOUS. And, honestly, it is fascinating to watch camels run because of how big those suckers are.

Ostriches? Well, that's a fascinating story, too. Now, I'm only basing this on the time I was there. Maybe ostriches are normally in a good mood and they just weren't that day. (No, I don't believe that, but glass half full, and all that.)

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We were right up there next to the track to get the best view and if events of the day had unfolded ANOTHER way, getting the best view wouldn't have been the best idea.

You see, there was one ostrich, in particular--I'll call him Harold--who was having NONE of it. He was unruly. He wasn't following the playbook. And when he got up to the finish line, he turned his attention toward us and ran full steam in our direction. Well, we scattered.

And, no, he did not "get" any of us. But that long neck would've allowed him to make a rather painful point if we hadn't moved.

So, no, I'm not really down with messing with flightless birds. That may be a disadvantage in the wild, but it's not in suburbia.

And don't even get me started on cassowaries, which I understand are the most dangerous birds on the planet, according to the Library of Congress. I've seen them at zoos and the colors are striking, but look at that face and TELL me that doesn't look like something out of Jurassic Park.

So, the folks in Pendleton County have their work cut out for them tracking down an emu that is on the loose.

No, you're right, there are no emus indigenous to Kentucky or the United States. They're Australian natives, but this one IS privately owned and got out after a tree fell on a fence, according to the Cincinnati Enquirer.

I'm sure animal control professionals will take the proper precautions when they are able to apprehend the creature, which Encyclopedia Britannica lists among the six most dangerous birds in the world.

Needless to say, it would be unwise to approach such a creature if you have no expertise in dealing with something like that.

Personally, and with the exception of horses, I make it a rule never to go near animals that are as tall as me. It just doesn't seem wise.

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