Missing the Brother I Never Knew on National Siblings Day (PHOTO)
Angel Here! Today is National Siblings Day. On this day most people celebrate their siblings but what if you have siblings you never got a chance to know.
I am an only child with my parents. Both my parents were married before they had me and had other children. I would like to say we had a blended family but that isn't how it went. My mom has 5 boys and me. Dad has 2 boys, my sister Belinda, and me.
I was always really close to my mom's side of the family. We spent holidays, birthdays, many days together and when my parents divorce, mom and I lived with each of them from time to time.
My dad's children were different. I remember them visiting when I was little but after my parents split up we moved to Ohio and lost contact.
In a 25 year span oftime I got to see them maybe two times total. It wasn't that I didn't want to see them. My mom had told me all about them and what great kids they were and that made me want to know more about them.
Both my brothers Ron and Greg served our country. Ron in the National Guard and Greg in the Air Force. They loved hunting, fishing, and spending time with their friends and family. My sister Belinda, is deaf. I remember her most because she was around more when I was little. She has the most beautiful smile and warmest hugs.
I longed for a relationship with all three of them but it just never happened. I reached out to them when everyone started using social media. This was about the only way I was able to see their lives, get to feel like I was a little bit a part of who they were.
I had a chance to see Greg and Belinda when our granddaddy died in 2007. Greg was probably the most stand offish of the 3. He and my dad didn't much get along, because of this I didn't get to see him either. That was the last time I saw him.
On September 4, 2017, my brother Greg took his own life. When I heard the news I immediately broke down. A million emotions flooded over me. I was sad because he was gone. I felt guilt because I never got the chance to go and visit him, but most of all I was angry. Angry because I felt robbed of a relationship with my brother. I watched as my other two siblings posted their grief and sorrow and memories and I had nothing. I don't have even one memory of Greg. I don't remember what his voice sounded like or how it felt to hug him.
I say all this not for a pity party but to make a plea with others out there that may have a similar situation as me. If you have siblings you don't know or don't speak too please get to know them, make amends, just make some kind of contact.
I often find myself sitting around wondering who he was. I read all the memories his friends posted about him on the funeral home website just the other day. Many said he was the life of the party, loved making others smile, and they couldn't imagine life without him. I am on the other side of that coin. I can't imagine a life with him in it.
I grieve for his boys. For my brother and sister and for his precious fiance Hollie who has been a blessing to me. She has helped me know a little more about my brother. I am very thankful for her and her children. She truly is the only link to who my brother was.
Today as millions celebrate their siblings with pictures and laughs I choose to do the same. While I didn't know Greg, I am grateful for his life, the memories he had with others, the laughter that he gave to his friends, and because God chose me to be his little sister.
I heard a saying one time "I'd miss you even if I had never known you" I didn't really understand this until my brother passed away. I miss him. I wish I could sit down with him for 5 minutes and pick his brain. Tell him I love him and hug his neck.
Ecclesiastes 3:4 - A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
Thinking of you today Greg and celebrating the person you were for so many...lots of love to you