Mortifying Moment That Haunts Me To This Day Happened In Illinois

I have plenty of embarrassing stories to tell because I'm pretty much an open book.  This traumatizing "accident" is, by far, one of my most shameful stories to ever exist.

We all have embarrassing stories, but most of the time we keep them to ourselves because we don't think anybody else in the world has gone through anything similar.

Luckily, I'm an open book and love to share my life with the internet; from getting my first tattoo, to traveling to France, meeting all my favorite celebrities, and even getting my first apartment, I'm always giving you a glimpse into the life of me!

I have a platform to utilize to the fullest, so why not show every part of my life - even the worst of the worst?  I'm human, you're human, and sh*t happens.  Literally.

Most Mortifying Moment That Haunts Me To This Day Happened In Illinois

Two years ago, I did something very questionable and I feel like enough time has gone by where I can tell this story and not be embarrassed anymore lol.

So, I had to make a quick trip to Michael's in Machesney Park to buy green garland to decorate my apartment.  I get the garland, leave the store, and get into my car to go home.

I'm sitting in my car and realized I had to poop really, really badly. 

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I knew I couldn't make it home because it was a 30 minute drive back to my house, and I couldn't make it back into Michael's or else I'd poop my pants in the middle of the store.

I look in my backseat, found a purse I just bought for $1 and a garage sale, and knew I'd never carry that thing around.  So I grabbed it and pooped right in the purse.

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I was not about to throw away the purse in the Michael's trash can after what I just did, so I strapped it up in my passenger seat and drove all the way home.

I also didn't want to throw it away in my own trash can, so I called my friend who lived down the street from me and said, "Can I throw something away in your trash?"

Luckily, next day was trash day and I figured his dumpster would be full of garbage.  I get to the dumpster, take one look inside, and it was empty.  JUST MY LUCK.

I was sooooo afraid someone was going to find my poop-filled purse, DNA it, and arrest me.  Don't ask why, I have no idea.  Why did I think it was illegal?  The world may never know...

So I threw it in the trash, got back in my car, and drove back home like nothing ever happened.  To this day, I have tried getting this experience out of my head.  Unfortunately, it haunts me most days.

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If you're sitting here thinking, "Wow, that's very embarrassing," yeah it is.  But, it makes you feel a little better about the disgusting things you've done in your life!  I'm glad I can make you feel a little more at ease with your immoral decisions.