I thought I might be at a crossroads here, but maybe not. You see, I cannot stand jellybeans. I just don't like jelly candy, period.

But TEXTURE won't play a part in Jelly Belly Sparkling Water, so maybe I'm good to go.

I said "crossroads" because I really like flavored sparkling water. I think it's helped me lose weight getting used to it, which I am.

The flavors that the Joffer Beverage Company announced are what you might expect in flavored sparkling water: grapefruit, French vanilla (sounds awesome), watermelon, lemon lime, orange sherbet, cherry, pina colada, and tangerine.

Sounds good.

Now, imagine if we were also getting licorice, buttered popcorn, chocolate pudding, or--wait for it--Tobasco.

Or even worse (yes, worse than Tobasco), those deliberately gross, gimmicky flavors like booger, soap, earthworm, earwax.

Joffer knew where to draw the line and we're thankful. I got tricked into eating a few of the disgusting ones one time.

I've never run to a trash can so fast in my life.