No Need for Power Struggle Over Messy Rooms

If getting your children to clean their rooms is a constant battle, take solace in knowing you are not alone.It's a common struggle in families, said parent educator Kelly Bartlett, and while parents should have expectations, they also need to realize kids' skills and priorities are much different.

"I do think it's something that parents can teach kids," she said. "So, yes, it's worth it to try to work with kids and teach them good organization habits and cleanliness, but it's not worth having it become the center of a power struggle between parents and kids because that's just going to drive your relationship apart and cause difficulties other places."

Especially for young children, an order to "clean your room" can be overwhelming, Bartlett said. Showing them how to break it down into smaller tasks - such as picking up dirty clothes or making the bed - can be very helpful.

Bartlett cautioned against offering rewards or bribes, adding that parents instead should provide help and guidance, and teach children the positives that come along with organization and cleanliness.

"I think that's more rewarding then just saying, 'I'll pay you to do this' or, 'You'll get a sticker' or, 'You'll get some prize if you can keep your room clean,' because eventually that reward is not going to be there for them," she said. "No one is going to pay them or reward them in the future to keep their room clean."

Although she does not suggest rewards, threats of discipline aren't any better, Bartlett said, "because then kids start to see keeping a clean house as really 'unfun' and unpleasant and they associate it with being punished and again, not that sense of satisfaction that we're going for."

More tips and techniques for working with children to keep their rooms clean can be found online 

Thanks to Kentucky News Connection for story idea.